when the evening shadows and the stars appear,
and there is no one there to dry your tears.
i could hold you for a million years,
to make you feel my love.
there’s some things i’ll never understand. i’ll never understand the goosebumps i get when first stepping into hot water. i’ll never understand the dreams i have with strangers in them, people i have never met or seen. i’ll never understand why someone can keep going back to what hurt them.
but i do understand that once we understand everything the world loses its shine. curiosity killed the cat, but the cat had nine lives.
i am 15 years old with the mentality of someone older. i see and do things in a way most people may never understand; abnormality is a word i have grown accustomed to throughout my life. i think with my heart before my head, and i wish it was the other way around. i am stubborn, brash, and headstrong about most things. i fail to think before i say which usually places me in awkward situations. i enjoy simplicity and see good in almost everything. i am emotional to a degree that i despise, and people tend to use that against me. i am no push over and i am not afraid to be cruel when that is the measure i must take. i have fears that i assume are normal to most people, and then there are some i myself do not understand. i am learning to grow up and mature everyday, which makes me a stronger person. i no longer allow what i feel to be seen, nor do i shut my mouth to most things. i never expect perfection because i know it does not exist. i accept imperfections and i find them to be some of the most attractive qualities in human beings. i have random outbursts and say the strangest of things. i am lovable, and the most trustworthy person around. im nice, im shy, but i will always stand my ground. i love the way no other girl ever could; giving my entire self and heart once i say i love you. i am not easily replaced, lover or friend; there are not many people like myself. i am a human being; expect mistakes to be made and learned from.
like the sea,
I’m constantly changing.
from calm to ill,
Madness fills my heart and soul.
as if the great divide,
could swallow me whole.
I find it so hard to come to terms with the fact that life goes on.
Tradgedy happens, but does life really go on?
The world doesn’t stop spinning,
So i guess so.
But there is something so insensitive about the idea to me.
The world should stop spinning for a bit for those who can’t keep up and those who need time in calm and serenity.
I myself am made entirely of flaws stiched together with good intentions.
My life is a series of changes.
A series of hits and misses, ghosts and corpses.
I’ve lost a lot, and gained what I’ve taken.
This time next year, I won’t be the same girl I am today.
I create my existence through change.